The favorite book I read last quarter, classified as science fiction, but focuses on exploring the topics of growth and the meaning of life.
The story tells the tale of an experiment where scientists successfully enhanced the intelligence of a mouse named Algernon. They then performed the same surgery on Charlie, a person with an IQ of only 68. Charlie quickly becomes a super genius with an IQ of 185, but due to a flaw in the experiment, he reverts back to being intellectually disabled. The novel is narrated in the first person through a series of progress reports written by Charlie, documenting his journey from being intellectually disabled to a genius and back again, and the various changes in his life.
Growth#
Charlie's growth comes from the enhancement of his intelligence. At the beginning, his diary is filled with spelling mistakes, and he is unaware of the mockery and bullying he faces in his daily life. As he becomes smarter, his spelling mistakes decrease, his sentences become more coherent, and he learns more and more knowledge. He gradually begins to understand and discover himself, and realizes the beauty and pain of life.
People with common sense will remember that there are two kinds of confusion in the eyes, which come from two different causes. It is either because one walks out of the light or because one walks into the light. This applies to both the eyes of the body and the eyes of the mind. - "The Republic"
The process of growth is often cruel, and Charlie's experience mirrors our own journey of growth. We all have experiences of gradually understanding the dark side of the world as we transition from our innocent and carefree childhood. We also feel confusion and pain.
There is a part in the book where Charlie gradually remembers the bullying he experienced before becoming intelligent. At the time, he didn't understand what was happening and thought everyone was just playing with him. When Charlie finally realizes the truth, he feels incredibly sad. This reminds me of a similar experience I had in middle school. I was younger than my classmates and was often bullied, but I thought being bullied meant I was "popular" and that's just how people interacted.
Growth is necessary because it helps us understand ourselves, gain human dignity, and achieve higher levels of happiness.
Happiness#
I don't know which situation is worse: not knowing oneself but being happy, or realizing one's ideals but feeling lonely.
Charlie works at a bakery and has a group of "good friends." He lives a carefree life and feels that the world is incredibly beautiful. However, as he becomes smarter, he starts to encounter various problems and pains. He feels that his job is meaningless, and his "good friends" leave him because they can no longer play tricks on him. He also recalls the past experiences of being mocked and bullied by friends and strangers, and being abandoned by his family. He can't find the love, dignity, and meaning of existence that he desires. All of these make him feel more and more distant from happiness.
Happiness is one of the pursuits in our lives, but ironically, it seems that the more mature our minds become, the harder it is to attain happiness. We are more easily happy in our childhood, when we know less and have less, but as adults, even though we know more and have more, we often experience more pain.
In this regard, I agree with 罗翔's view: there is a difference in quality and quantity when it comes to happiness. The happiness that reflects human dignity is the greatest happiness. The pursuit of higher-level happiness may encounter many confusions and pains, but it better reflects human dignity and the meaning of life. The happiness that Charlie experiences after satisfying his thirst for knowledge and learning to love cannot be compared to the naive happiness he had before.
At the same time, I also believe that low-level happiness is necessary, which is why I am also enthusiastic about watching adult content.
Love#
Wisdom is one of the greatest gifts to humanity, but in the pursuit of knowledge, the pursuit of love is often put aside. This is a conclusion I recently reached. I can offer you this hypothesis: the lack of wisdom to give and receive love can lead to mental and moral collapse, resulting in neurosis or even mental illness. And I must also say that focusing solely on one's own wisdom, excluding interpersonal relationships, and forming a closed self-centeredness will only lead to violence and pain.
The most confusing thing for Charlie is love. As his intelligence increases, his helplessness and confusion in the face of love remain unchanged. He discovers that love has nothing to do with intelligence.
In the novel, two women appear in Charlie's life. His relationship with his neighbor Fay is pure, passionate, and carefree, seemingly happy and beautiful. However, after Fay realizes that Charlie is becoming intellectually disabled again, she leaves him without hesitation. His relationship with Professor Alice is much more complicated, which also makes Charlie realize his own psychological issues. He discovers that he doesn't have the ability to love and be loved. True love is different from pure passion. Charlie and Alice have a deeper bond, and they are willing to sacrifice for each other. Even after Charlie loses his memory, he still cares most about Alice. The author vividly illustrates the difference between passion and love through the comparison of these two relationships.
Alice came to the door again, but I told her to go away, that I didn't want to see her. She started crying, and I started crying too, but I didn't let her in because I didn't want her to see me laughing. I told her that I didn't love her anymore and that I didn't want to become intelligent anymore. That's not true. I still love her, and I still want to become intelligent, but I have to say it to make her leave. Mrs. Mooney told me that Alice brought more money to come and take care of me and pay the rent. I don't want that. I have to find a job.
Today I did something stupid. I forgot that I no longer attend Miss Kinnian's adult center class. I walked in and sat in my old seat at the back of the classroom. Miss Kinnian looked at me strangely and asked, "Charlie, where have you been?" So I said, "Hello, Miss Kinnian. I'm ready for class today, but I lost the book we were using." She started crying and ran out of the classroom. Everyone turned to look at me, and I realized that many of them were not my old classmates. ... That's why I have to leave here and go to the Warren Home forever. I don't want to do things like this anymore. I don't want Miss Kinnian to be sad for me. I know that everyone at the bakery is sad for me, but I don't want that.
This part is really heartbreaking.
The Meaning of Life#
I came into this world simply to understand some truths and encounter interesting things. If I can achieve that, my life will be a success. - Wang Xiaobo
The diary once again contains spelling mistakes, and fate cruelly takes away the bright life and beautiful memories that Charlie cherishes.
Although Charlie's ending is not so beautiful, the process of his collapse is filled with pain, struggle, and despair, he never regrets undergoing the intelligence enhancement surgery. He learns to love and be loved, reconciles with his past self, understands himself better, experiences the joys and sorrows of life, and learns many truths, even though they will eventually disappear. Just like our lives, they are meaningful, even though we will all eventually die and return to dust.
To find the meaning of my existence in its entirety, I not only need to grasp the past but also know the possible future developments. I need to know where I come from and where I will go. Although we know that death awaits us at the end of the maze, I now believe that the path I chose in the maze has shaped who I am today. I am not just one thing, but a way of existence, one of many ways. Understanding the paths I have chosen, as well as the paths I have not taken, can help me understand my own transformations.
Miss Kinnian, if you have the chance to read this, please don't be sad for me. I am grateful for the second chance at life, as you said. Because I have learned so much, things that I didn't even know existed in this world. I am glad to have seen them, even if it was only for a short time. I am glad that I discovered everything about my family and myself. It's as if I didn't have a family before I remembered them and saw them, but now I know that I have a family, and I am just like everyone else.
Although death is inevitable, we can place a bouquet of flowers on Algernon's grave, proving that we have lived meaningfully and grown.
💐